Healing Means More Than I Thought...

This coming August it will be 17 years since I heard those scary words: “You have breast cancer”. That phone call started a journey that has lasted almost 2 decades.  My treatment plan included a bi-lateral mastectomy, chemotherapy, reconstruction with implants, and explant surgery. The days and months after I was diagnosed are mostly a blur. But, there are a few things I remember… the first meetings with my surgeon, plastic surgeon, and oncologist.  After these meetings, there were words in my vocabulary that I’d never thought to ever use – names of chemo drugs, and procedures I needed to have done. It was depressing and frightening. I also remember all of the good people who reached out to help – including my mother (who was my chemo partner), and my sister (who held my hand during every appointment with my surgeons).

I was diagnosed early, so the survival rate was good. I had DCIS – and all we had to do was cut it out. No chemo, no radiation (probably), and no other surgeries. But, things are never that simple, are they? My general surgeon did a lumpectomy to remove the DCIS, but the borders weren’t clean… so we went in again – each time finding a tumor that hadn’t shown up on the mammogram… both were invasive. After having 19 randomly placed needle biopsies to see if there were any remaining tumors, it looked like I was clear. My surgeon said a mastectomy wasn’t necessary. My opinion differed from his. I knew he couldn’t guarantee that the cancer was completely gone, and since I had an aggressive form of cancer, after much prayer I chose to get a bi-lateral mastectomy. It seemed the smartest thing to do, along with 6 chemo treatments.  That kicked off YEARS of reconstructive surgeries.

Looking back, I don’t regret the decisions I made. I think if I could have seen into the future, I would still make those same decisions.  But, the changes to my body in both appearance and strength have been HARD. I’m not going to lie – it’s been rough.

Last August, after having implants for 16 years, I finally had them removed. They were causing all kinds of health issues, and I felt awful. I found one of the top micro surgeons in the country, and traveled 2200 miles to have an explant and Pap flap surgery. In fact, counting the pre-trip and the follow up surgery in December, I’ve traveled over 8800 miles.  Currently I’m looking at another follow up surgery this year. And hopefully that will be the end. So, after 10,000+ miles of travel, $20,000+ cash out of my pocket, and $350,000+ billed to my insurance, I’ll hopefully be finished. (For those wondering why I traveled so far for this specific surgery – there were very limited choices in Utah. In fact, I had a hard time finding ANY surgeons who would perform this surgery.) The decision to remove my implants was so difficult, but like my original decisions about my journey, I felt good about this one. Again – won’t lie – it’s been a hard recovery and I’m feeling a bit disappointed in some of the results, but I wouldn’t change my decision.

All those years ago, I had NO idea what my breast cancer journey would entail. Besides all of the surgeries and treatments, I was able to meet 2 other survivors and form a non-profit support group for survivors… 14 years later, we’ve made a huge impact on the breast cancer community, met 1300+ women, and had experiences we never would have had without a diagnosis of breast cancer.

I’m grateful for my journey. It’s not over yet, and probably never will be. I’ve continued to have follow appointments, scans, bloodwork, and more every year, because if the monster comes back, I want to catch it early.  The most important lesson I’ve learned over the last 17 years… healing means more than I thought. More than just stitches being removed, and celebrating that last treatment.  It means learning how to be ok with what happened, using our experiences to help others who are struggling through the same journey, and finding JOY in this one beautiful, hard life we have been given.

-Kara Herron

President, Lifting Hearts